Friday, February 29, 2008

~Silver Lining~

How eye-opening this experiment has been to me! As I do my best to depend on God & communicate with Him, I've realized how little I used to do so. It is amazing how God can take small, simple ideas & give them God-sized results if we simply ask!

This week, I've encountered new trials in depending on God. Sometimes it's so hard yet so easy to depend on God. Things happen in this imperfect world & I wish that they didn't, but when they do, I just want to run into His arms and cry, but at the same time, I want to pull away & ask Him why He lets these things happen. However, it is a comfort to know that He has a plan for everything - a plan to prosper me & not to harm me. In those moments when I want to yet don't want to depend on Him, I've found myself relying on Him more than ever, because He is the One true place I can find comfort.

God has also taught me that He doesn't just want my dependence in the big areas of life, but in the small. I had a day this past week that I thought was going to be a breeze because I was spending most of it alone. Throughout the day, however, I found myself in need of depending on Him to keep my thoughts pleasing to Him. He doesn't just want us to honor Him in our actions, but also in our thoughts. For what is planted in the heart, takes root in the soul, & will show itself through our actions. I want my whole self to be pleasing to & dependent on Him.

Thank you Father, for the way you are showing yourself through this experiment. Thank you that I can find comfort in You & have confidence that your plans are better than my own. Please help me as I do my best to depend on You in every aspect of my life - the big & the small. Thank you for forgiveness & second chances. You are a loving & caring God who has our best interests at heart, & I am truly greatful!

"Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me." Psalm 23:4

Thursday, February 28, 2008

F.R.O.G.G.E.R.

As I have gone through this experiment, I have been trying to determine what most helps me and what most hinders me in my dependence on God. As I said last time, every situation has the potential to do either, we determine the outcome by the perspective from which we view the situation. What I have discovered, however, is that I am the least dependent on God when there is no "situation" to deal with, when life is just normal. I have no trouble depending on God when there is something big going on in my life that I need His help with. I know I am incapable of making it through those difficult times without Him, but for some reason I think I can make it through the easy times without Him. It isn't that I intentionally don't depend on Him; I don't wake up on a normal day and have the conscious thought, "God, I've got this one. I don't need you today." Much to the contrary, I tell Him that I know I need Him and I beg Him to remind me of that need throughout the day. All the same, as the day progresses, without fail, I forget. I forget that I need God. Even as I type that sentence I understand the ridiculousness of it. How can I forget that I need God? He is the Giver of life, more than that, He is the Life, He is my Father, my Best Friend, my King, my Lord, my Provider, my Strength, my Hope, my Salvation and on and on and on. He is everything to me, yet I forget that I need Him in the normalcy of life. I get so distracted by the things of this world (not even necessarily bad things, just things) that I forget that without Him I could not stand on my own two feet. How can I forget that?

God, I need You, and I need You to remind me that I need You. Don't let me forget all that You have done for me and all that You are to me. Remind me of my incapability to live life without You. Show me that I need You not only when life is hard, but also when life is easy. I am nothing without You; You are everything to me. Let me never forget that!!!

"Apart from me you can do NOTHING." John 15:5

Totally Dependent

I found this video to be very encouraging. I hope you do also... just click on the link below.

http://www.greatquotesmovie.com/

Monday, February 25, 2008

BeastlyOne


I am so proud to be part of this group. I never forward anything, but after being part of this group, I am sharing it with every one I can think of. My excitement does not originate from our great plan. It is rather ordinary. It doesn't originate from the quality of the people. Though they are wonderful, they would be quick to admit their ordinariness. It's not because the blog looks sharp or my picture is so attractive. (Though my wife does look beautiful). It is because I believe that this experiment will create amazing things due to the fact that we are intentionally seeking God daily. Our consistency though is not the main key. We have failed and will fail. Our perseverance will be the key. Even when I forget to engage in Ceaseless Prayer for hours, the fact that it is brought to my attention leads me to engage in it again. Guilt is a great thing if it leads you back to where you need to be.(It is when it becomes your master that it begins to ruin your life). Even when I get tired of journaling or I have to repeat our morning prayer because I just said it, but it meant nothing to me, I will keep after it. There will be times in this experiment when I will feel like nothing is being accomplished and me quitting won't make any difference. I say to myself: "Welcome to the experience of every great man and woman of faith." The things that made a difference in their lives is that they wouldn't quit trusting in our Father, Jehovah God. They waited for decades for promises to be fulfilled and they wouldn't give up. We must choose to stand with them for the sake of this generation and the ones to come. Just remember - If you only look at us, you might well miss the brightness. We carry this precious Message around in the unadorned clay pots of our ordinary lives. That's to prevent anyone from confusing God's incomparable power with us.(2 Corinthians 4:7-Message) We don't want anybody else to be confused...and I have to be reminded so I don't get confused myself - It is all about Him and us allowing ourselves to be used by Him.
BTW - Today is the one day anniversary of my 13th year anniversary(hence my non-blue picture) - What I've learned: Marry someone who loves God infinitely more than they love you. Then you can spend your marriage reaping what true agape love can bring. I look back on our wedding day and wonder, by point of comparison, if I even loved my wife because our love is so much deeper now. God has been so faithful. Grew us through very difficult times. My life is so rich right now I cannot even express it. I could go on and on about her, but the greatest complement she would want is why I could go on and on about her: she truly seeks to reflect her Father and He is faithful to shine through her. Therefore, she is beyond-words beautiful. Praise be to God!

Ted Geisel


Well it has been a most crazy/excellent adventure so far and its going very well,but.......its just kinda hard getting in the groove of it. So I am just going to take it one step at a time(just to be on the safe side). Well thats it for now. And stay classic, Internet.

Kristova


In Ukraine the primary spoken language is Russian. The Russian word (phonetically spelled out here) “Kristova” means “belonging to” or “of” Christ. I choose this as my screen name because I truly desire to be of Christ.

Yesterday as I reflected on my day I realized something that is big in holding me back from being totally dependent.
I find one thing that holds me back is when I get really busy. Here’s why. As I walk through life there are tons of things to be done. You know how busy life can get. The problem comes in when I forget, or make the decision not to think about what God wants for me in each situation. I don’t feel as bad about the times when I forget as when I choose not to think about it. It’s funny but for some reason I seem to think that I don’t have time to think about what God wants when there is a lot to do. When in reality God’s will should be the thing to ease the stress of being so busy. King Saul had this problem. He became impatient waiting for Gods will to be done, and chose to do things on his own. It was for that reason that God became grieved that Saul was King.
On the other hand, David was the writer of Psalm 51 asked God not to take his Spirit from him.
“Lord, Please be with me as I live a life that is busy. Help me take the time to realize that only you can make the business in my life full of peace. “


Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me.
Psalms 51

Trinity

So, this is my first post. While this experiment is not always easy and makes me get out of my comfort zone, I am really enjoying it. Before starting this experiment I didn't realize how little I think and pray to God on a daily basis. I never even thought about how dependent on God I really am. This experiment is definantly opening my eyes.

I ask God quite often to use me in the situations that I'm put into. When I don't find an opportunity it's usually because I'm not really looking for one. Even though sometimes it can be pretty obvious what God is asking me to do. There are also those times when there are opportunities right in front of me and I'm either not looking for it, or I just choose not to do anything about it.

By doing this experiment I am thinking about Him more and realizing what He needs me to do. Some days are harder then others to remember the prayers that we are supposed to be saying. Those days that I do say the prayer and choose to make it a day for God are really amazing days.

I'm really excited to see what God does with me and everyone else with this experiment. I am very thankful that God has given us this opportunity to be more reliant on him.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Superfriend


So, this is my first post. How is the experiment going for me you ask? Well, nothing has really happened yet. Why? To tell you the truth, it’s because I haven’t really done anything yet. I haven’t been fully dependent at all. I’ve been living my life just like I have been my whole life. I haven’t really changed at all. Now, I’m not saying this to be negative, I’m just being truthful. I’m not ashamed; I’m telling it like it is. What I’m trying to prove is that this experiment is just like anything else, you only get out of it what you put into it.

This whole experiment of being totally dependent on God is a battle. It’s an epic struggle between your “earthly” life and your “spiritual” life. I really enjoy my “earthly” life. It rocks, it’s worked for me my whole life, why change it? But imagine if I did start relying on God more. What if I involved God in everything I did? For example, I’m trying to score a few points for my “spiritual” life by writing this blog, but while I type I’m listening to some music that doesn’t really set the best Christian example. This is the kind of stuff I’m talking about, I want to be a better Christian, but I don’t want to change.

But I will say this; just taking a little extra time out of your day to live for God makes a big difference. On our Saturday morning meeting I stated that the days that I do pray our prayer and make a little more effort to live for God, I notice a difference in my day. I find myself questioning my actions, when normally I would just indulge in whatever desire I have without thinking twice. It doesn’t take much to get on the right track of improving your relationship with God. Just try to make the effort, it’s worth it.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Augustine


Well, it is week two for me so far. I really enjoy the meetings we have every Saturday. It is always good to spend time with believers, but there is always great encouragement, at least for me, that comes from those meetings. We talked about respect a little bit and treating others with kindness even when they do not do the same. This made me come to look into the inner-workings of true discipleship towards Christ and why it is important.

It often bothers me when people look down upon Christianity and saying that it is simply wasted time spent on dead rituals and foolish guilt over irrelevant codes and laws. The reality of the situation, though is that Christianity is incredibly logical. When juxtaposed next to living in the "real world", the way that most live seems both irrational and amazingly hindering towards progress. The very thought of turning the other cheek or returning and insult not with another insult or even annoyance but instead with love seems weak, foolish, and even blasphemous in our day and age of "I should get what I deserve" American, no, Worldly attitude (for it transcends the shores of the shining seas, though it is very strong here). We are bred to get what we want. It is the essence of our nature; the core of our values. Our indoctrination is evident in nearly every facet of society, even, sadly in our churches. The anthem that has rang throughout the ages, regardless of culture, environment, or race: "It is about ME." This is is not a concept limited to this world, however. It existed before time and space did. It is the eternal struggle of choosing the creator's or the creation's will. This is where the tension comes from; by choosing the way that we think things should go versus how God designed things to go.

And so Christianity is not the one that is "off" in the mindset. From Eden the world was going the wrong way, and Jesus came here to fix it. To show the correct way that God intended us to live. His teachings seem so radical to us not because they are outlandish or unattainable, but because we have been engineered to think a certain way, and those teachings go against that grain. It is a constant struggle of choosing him over ourselves; giving up trying to find ourselves and starting to get to know him. Dietrich Bonhoeffer poignantly displayed this concept in one of his Letters and Papers from Prison:

"I often wonder who I really am... What does one's attitude mean, anyway? In short, I know less than ever about myself, and I am no longer attaching any importance to it. I have had more than enough psychology, and I am less and less inclined to analyze the state of my soul... There is something more at stake than self-knowledge."
pg 89-90

I truly believe that this is the nature of this whole experiment. I encourage all who read this to look into their lives and see where their dependence lies.

"I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection..." -Phillipians 3:10

Friday, February 22, 2008

~Silver Lining~

Okay - where to start? This past week, God has been pouring knowledge into me about Him, His Spirit, & the way He works. I still do not fully understand everything that He is trying to teach me, & I know that I will never fully understand God. However, I have faith that if I keep asking Him to speak to me, He will continue to do so until the things He is trying to teach me have penetrated my earthly brain & are soaked up by my spiritual brain.

One thing I learned this week is that depending on God isn't just about peace or ceaseless prayer - it's also about my relationship with God. What is God in my life? Who is God in my life? I realized that I should find my self worth in Him. I need to live to please Him - live for His approval - live for an audience of One. I need to depend on Hm and let Him be my approval, encouragement, & reassurance. He should be what I think about when I wake up in the morning. He should be what I think about when I'm going through day-to-day activities. He should be what I think about when I go to bed at night.

However, having Him on my mind all day is not easy. Often I find it hard to not only pray ceaselessly, but at all! The world offers to many temptations and distractions & I've found that I really have to want to depend on Him, otherwise I simply won't.

Another thing that I've learned about depending on God is that sometimes you have to humble yourself & not be afraid to ask questions. Also, you might have to do some things that you really don't want to do. In any situation, however, God is dependable, even if you have to wait a while to see what He's up to.

Last, but not least, I learned that God greatly rewards those who depend on Him! Even though sometimes we have to go through uncomfortable or even painful situations, it pays off! A couple of days ago, I woke up in a terrible mood. I was worried about everything going on, I was ticked off about stupid stuff, & I was headed for an awful day before I even walked out of my room. Then I remembered this experiment. I sat down on the side of my bed & told myself that I wasn't going to do this. I told God right then that it was all Him. I had the most successful & relaxing day! God is good & faithful to those that depend on Him. He will do great things for those who ask!

Thank you God for revealing new truths to me this week. Help me to not fall victim to the distractions of the world - keep me focused on You. You alone are my strength & my shield. To You alone will my spirit yield. You alone are my heart's desire & the apple of my eye. Father, thank you for forgiving rough starts, being there when I call, & blessing me more abundantly then I could ask or imagine!

"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine according to His power that is at work within us..." Ephesians 3:20

Thursday, February 21, 2008

F.R.O.G.G.E.R.

I was trying to come up with a pen name for this when my wonderful mom suggested that I go with F.R.O.G. You know, Fully Rely On God. I decided to add my own twist and am now F.R.O.G.G.E.R.: Fully Relying On God, Gaining Eternal Riches. This comes from Proverbs 3:5, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding," and Matthew 6:20, "But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven." These are two of the things that I am striving to do during these seven weeks. The first more than the second, though; I want to learn how to rely on God.

During this first week and a half of this experiment, I have discovered much about God, myself and where my dependence lies. The majority of the time, my dependence is on myself. I don't know why, it isn't like I know what I'm doing. How much smarter it would be for me to give God control over my life and to depend on Him for everything I need, but I very seldom do. As I have contemplated the things that discourage my dependence on God and the things that encourage my dependence on God, I have discovered something: the only difference between the two is the perspective from which I choose to view them. Every circumstance has the potential to either increase or decrease my dependence on God. It is my choice. When I find myself in a situation (good, bad or otherwise), I can either turn it over to God and trust Him to take care of it, or I can attempt to handle it on my own. I can be brought down by whatever is going on around me and inside of me, or I can realize that it is another opportunity to trust in God's strength and faithfulness. There is no circumstance that God cannot use for His glory. He is working in everything around me; all He wants me to do is to connect with Him through faith and to depend on Him to accomplish His goals through me wherever I am.

Father God, thank You for the way You work in my life. Thank You for Your presence, for always being there for me to depend on. Please, help me to be more willing to place my dependence on You, rather than on myself. As I go through this life, help me to see each situation as one in which I can depend on You and bring You glory. Thank You for Your mercy and Your love; You are an awesome God!

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

* Porcelain Heart *

Well, first of all it has been a God week that's for sure. I don't know how to describe it. There haven't been any spiritual fireworks, and I wasn't expecting them, but there has definately been an undescribable peace that has been with me. It's amazing what a few constant prayers can do.

I have noticed myself being more focused on my Father throughout my day which has begun to lead to an attitude change for the most part. God has really opened my eyes this week and allowed me to see what he can do with my life if I just let him.

I got to thinking and my life is really like a road trip. I guarantee you that if we just give God the wheel he'd gladly take it for us. My problem is that sometimes I get where I don't like the direction that God is driving and so i try to grab the wheel and make a u turn, because I'm scared.

I don't doubt what God can do, but i doubt myself. I'm a vessel God's driving/using and that's an awesome thought, but at the same time it can be intimidating; if I give God the wheel who knows where I'll go. Some places may challenge me and be very uncomfortable, but that's the beauty about God, He knows just what we need and when we need them and we've got to go through those tight places in order to grow. And that's where totally depending on Him really comes in. I've got to let him be the driver of my life.


God thank you so much for the opportunity to do this with my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. Continue to be with us as we learn to become totally dependent on you.

I Peter 4:6-7
"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you..."

BeastlyOne



Before I get to the important stuff, let it be known that I am a technophobe and I'm also a "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade" type. When I saw how my picture turned out I immediately dismissed the idea of fixing it, choosing rather to embrace it. Seeing the picture, I wanted to call myself an Oompa-loompa, but then I discovered those fine people are actually orange. I didn't want to be Papa Smurf so I ended up with the suggested title above.(I don't think they meant it as a complement. Hmmm)

These past 10 days have been really good for me and not because I have been so successful, but rather because I'm getting a more honest look into how dependent I really am on God. I typically begin well each day, but will realize about mid-afternoon that I haven't given God a single thought. Often I only realize that because this commitment will jump into my head. How have I lived this many years and not seriously pursued ceaseless prayer? At night when I journal, I am often shocked at how little conscious thought I have given to actually walking with God. Certainly his teachings have affected the way I think about life, decision making, relationships, etc., but I think, as a follower of the actual Son of God, I should want better than just to internalize a few of his teachings. I want to walk with my Father. I want to keep in step with His Spirit. I suspect that means a little more than occasionally reflecting on a truth or two that He has given me.

God, I pray for your continued patience as you lead me through this experience. Ultimately I trust in your guidance and your ability to make me what I need to be. 4 Such confidence as this is ours through Christ before God. 5 Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God (2 Corinthians 3:4-5)

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Augustine


Well, this is post number one for me. This has been quite and experience. I think God is really trying to work on us in this experiment. The fact is that a lot of people who say they are Christians don't really act as if their lives are totally dependent on Jesus. Sure, the whole sin issue is of course out of our hands, so we let him handle that. But what about other issues we come into contact with on a daily basis? Do we, as Christians, allow ourselves to be completely and utterly dependent on him in our finances, or our work ethics, or our relationships?

This is a painful question to ask; at least for me. A lot of times the answer is sadly 'no'. We live in a, as Dallas Willard describes, "consumer Christianity" mindset. We'll take what he gives us, but when it comes to really giving of ourselves (visiting the sick, elderly, poor, or imprisoned, spending time mentoring younger Christians, sharing the Word with those we know are not saved, ect.) we tend to leave it up to the more 'qualified' individuals. This is obviously not what Christ intended.

When Jesus ascended into heaven, he didn't ask his followers to make converts, but rather disciples of him. This is why I am doing this Totally Dependent Experiment. I truly believe that anyone who is a Christian can do this. That doesn't mean that it is easy. Already I have had to deal with forgetfulness and a lot of personal realizations about things I'm going to have to leave behind. The things gained tremendously outweigh those lost, though. I have already noticed things that I didn't before about life, spirituality, and the nature of God. I'm excited as to how things will turn out in the future.

"Therefore go and make disciples..." -Matthew 28:19

Friday, February 15, 2008

~Silver Lining~

Wow! This experience is already blessing me in great ways & we only started last week! Just goes to show that God isn't limited by time.

First, I think that this whole mindset is a really good habit to get into - not
just depending on God when you look at the big picture, but depending on Him in every little moment of every day. It's not easy to get in the habit of depending on Him, but it's happening even w/out me realizing it.

Even on the first day, I noticed a difference! Even just saying our "totally dependent" prayer in the morning is a great way to get started. I noticed that throughout the day I was more relaxed. I didn't worry as much about school, schedule, family, future, life, anything! I had a unique sense of peace. Even with so much going on in life right now, I'm more peaceful and just overall okay w/ the way things are going.

I know that God is going to use this experiment in great ways for all of us! I'm glad that we're in this together and I'm looking forward to hearing how God's working in your lives.

God, thank you for the things that you are already doing! You are a great God! Please continue to help us as we depend on you and thank you for being there every time we call.

“They… were victorious because they relied on the Lord.” – 2 Chronicles 13:18