This week has been much different, though. God has really changed my perspective. He has changed my perception of Him when I realize I have messed up and that I need another chance. When I turn back to Him, He is not some begrudging father that sighs and says, "Fine, you can have one more chance, but you better not blow it!" No, He has shown me that He is a loving Father who is longing for me to turn back because He wants to give me another chance. He has taken me from feeling like a failure, which I am not, to simply feeling incompetent to perform the task of life, which I am.
2 Corinthians 3:4-6
"Such confidence as this is ours through Christ before God. Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God. He has made us competent as ministers of a new covenant--not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life."
On my own, I am not competent at all, but because of the Spirit of God in me, I am made competent. I am not a failure because I am not under the letter/law, but under grace. (Rom. 6:14) If I was under the law, I would have failed the first time I messed up; there would be no second chance. However, thanks to my precious Jesus, I have thousands of second chances. This doesn't mean that I can take advantage of those chances because I know they will be there. (Rom. 6:1-2) It simply means that I do not have to feel a continual burden of guilt over the chances that I have blown, and they are many. I am reminded of some lyrics from a song:
"This only serves to confirm my suspicions
That I'm still a man in need of a Savior.
I want to be in the Light
As You are in the Light."
I have blown and continue to blow so many chances that I am still in need of a Savior, but I keep striving to walk in the light, as He is in the light. (1 John 1:7) Only through Him and His power at work in my life do I have any hope at all of walking in that light, but through Him and His power at work in my life, I have all the hope in the world.
God, thank You for Your amazing grace. I am continuing to realize more and more that that is not just a song. Your grace is truly amazing. Thank You for how many undeserved second chances You have given and continue to give to me. Remind me constantly of my desperate need for You in every area of my life. Thank You for Your love. You are an awesome God!
"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by His grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus." Romans 3:23-24